Cigar Party Crashers:

David got a message on twitter about a cigar party a few Wednesdays ago at Casa de 5chw4r7z. Since we hardly ever go to any events separately (Nomerati is plural, after all), I assumed that I would tag along and sit upwind on the deck. Odd I didn’t get a message, I thought, but I just wrote it off.

It was not until I asked 5chw4r7z what to bring that I was informed that this was a “No girls allowed/Tim the Toolman Taylor male bonding style” party. Oh. I said. I see how it is. Fine. You can have your stinky cigars.

I later happily learned that Ms. 5chw4r7z, Maureen and Kate were planning their own cookout in Ault park the same evening. David and I resolved to go our separate ways.

I prepped some veggie skewers and made some treats earlier. Ms. 5chw4r7z and I rode over to our apartment from downtown to pick up the skewers and macaroons I had made when we got a panicked call from Kate, who was lugging her various grilling supplies all around Ault park—where there were no grills to be found.

We began considering other parks to go to. At that point I had loaded the skewers into the car, and the idea of driving around on a hot summer day searching for an open park grill seemed like an invitation for disaster, or at least some indigestion.

I turned to Ms. 5chw4r7z with a sly look. “Do you think the boys would be upset if we crashed their party? We totally should.” I had made plenty of skewers, had beef ribs that were pre-prepared, and a large, persuasive army of chocolate dipped coconut macaroons ready. I explained that if my calculations and experience were correct, the copious food bribes would probably work.

“I have experience in this.” I recalled. “I used to get David over to my Mom’s house to help with my chores in exchange for steaks.”

Bob the cigar man Schwartz

Fortunately, the boys were open to sharing the condo. It all worked out for the best in the end. As the evening wore on, it didn’t get any cooler, just hotter. So we were spared heat exhaustion and dehydration, had a better grill and more company and most importantly didn’t have to use park restrooms. I’d classify it a win.